Thank you for taking my class today,
You’ve done me a really big favour.
I have to attend an emergency course,
Concerning some bad behaviour.
The bell will ring at a quarter to nine,
Please pick them up from the gate.
Register them as quick as you can,
(Don’t worry if any are late).
At nine o’clock it’s lesson one,
Please see the writing plan.
They’re meant to write a word or two.
(I’ll very much doubt they can).
Break time bell’s at half past ten,
The staff room’s up the stairs.
Make yourself a cup of tea,
Or whisky – (no one cares).
Next is Maths. They’re working hard,
(And one or two are able),
To stand up at the front and then,
Recite the one times table.
Then it’s lunch. You’ll thank the stars!
(There’s aspirin in my drawer).
If I were you I’d keep them in,
And lock the classroom door.
It’s History all afternoon,
Our topic’s World War Two.
They’ll start an attack with rubbers and pens,
Then wage a war on you!
At half past three it’s time for home,
So take a big, deep breath.
The parents will need to talk to you,
It’s a matter of life and death!
Don’t go yet! It’s marking time!
(I’m sure you’re not a sinner).
We mark in green and pink and black.
You’ll be home just after dinner.
Make sure Charlotte stays away,
From Jimmy, Jack and Paul.
Keep an eye on Tom and Jess,
They’ll drive you up the wall.
Separate Colette and Lynn,
They really can’t get on.
And sit with Ben when doing Maths,
(He can only count to one).
There’s one more thing. It’s actually,
The reason you’ve been hired.
You won’t be teaching anywhere else ‘cuz,
Yesterday I was fired!
Have fun with them!
© James Cappuccini 2014